No best friends primary school policy is denying children of a basic human right.

At eat play grow our passion is all about inspiring children to grow, physically and emotionally. A huge part of development and emotional growth is centred around bonding.  The bonds we make with parents, siblings, family and friends have a huge impact on who we become and the decisions we make in our lives.  Sometimes this can be positive and sometimes negative but it is all a part of discovering who we are and growing as people so we were shocked and appalled to hear that primary schools are adopting a no best friends policy to try and shield children from the pain of falling out.

Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni, who provides counseling for children in London, said the practice of teachers encouraging kids to play in large groups instead of developing tight-knit bonds is increasingly common. She said teachers have consulted her about the rights and wrongs of the policy, but stressed they should not be interfering with friendships and that it is natural for children to want a best friend.

Falling out, arguing and breaking up and making up are all part of life and if we don’t learn how to deal with sometimes painful emotions and difficulties from a young age, we lose the opportunity to learn valuable skills we need as we grow older and navigate the world around us.  

Parents are key in helping children through this process and provided the bond with a child’s parents is stable and healthy, there is no reason that a child should be unable to cope with the emotional trauma of a friendship breakdown.  In fact, a study last year from Minnesota University showed that a person who has had strong relationship with their mother as a baby is much more able to resolve relationship conflicts in later life which is why we place such huge importance on bonding during our Play Away classes.

Whether you make a best friend for life or a best friend just for Christmas is irrelevant, the beauty comes in the sharing of experience whether for a lifetime, a year or just a moment.  To make friends and break friends is a basic human right surely?